By Charles Parles
In our Christian living and relationships, as for all single Christian men and women, we all want to attract people who are important in our lives in order to be happy. We often ask ourselves, how to be liked by others and therefore be successful and fulfilled in our love life, our careers, our friendships and our family relations.
Once in a while, we see or meet people with that “special magic” that separates them among the rest. This is particularly evident in charismatic political, spiritual and business leaders as well as entertainers and celebrities. What is it in them that attracts us and leave us wondering about that radiating aura that surrounds their personalities? What causes that magnetic personality that makes people gravitate toward them? What is it in them that is able to sustain this beautiful, amazing human energy continuously?
It’s what you call charisma. According to scientists, researchers and psychologists and studies that have been made, one’s attractiveness can be developed in time. It consists physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual attraction forces. Basically, it was observed that people who have them have some traits in common. And in order to develop it in yourselves, you have to grow them inside you and be parts of the whole you. And they cover the following areas:
Always give people your genuine smile and maintain good eye contact. Also, give people you meet a firm hand shake if necessary to show appreciation. Take out all your prejudices and don’t think ill of people you meet and deal with. People are basically good, but be careful at the same time.
Be confident of yourselves and don’t be shy nor arrogant. Learn to accept your strengths and weaknesses, knowing that you are unique and one of a kind in this world. We admire people who are confident about themselves as we look up to people who can lead and guide us through life’s maze. Confident people inspire us to follow and act especially in times of uncertainty and confusion.
Be nice and courteous. All of us like people who are well-mannered and respectful. Practice them and make them an inherent part of your personality for them to flow naturally.
Communicate effectively. Learn how to express yourself and do not let yourself be misunderstood.Learn how to give and take in order to pursue your desires and objectives. Always think what is best for everybody or at least the majority.
Be neat and organized. Being clean and organized goes to show how we value cleanliness and organization in our daily living. It gives people insights on how cluttered or organized our minds and lives are. Dress appropriately to occasions or events you go to and avoid being always pre-occupied with one’s look and appearance at the expense of more important matters. Dress nicely but not overly.
Be healthy and physically fit. Nobody wants to be with unhealthy and sick people, unless they are family. So, exercise and diet as a glowing skin and a bright look on one’s face adds to one’s attractiveness as well.
Be enthusiastic and have a positive attitude in life. Having a healthy attitude about life refreshes all of us and brightens our days. Face life’s challenges as part of life itself and that we are here to learn from the human experiences we encounter and to take setbacks and failures in stride and improve our outlook in life in general.
Be honest, loyal and sincere. We tend to be attracted to people whom we trust- our close friends, family who have gone through time with us in our failures and successes in our lives.
Be understanding and considerate. Being sensitive to other people’s thoughts and feelings and having a genuine concern for the welfare of others strengthens that positive force in us that other’s perceive.
Be focused, hardworking and dependable. Certainly, we are repelled by people who don’t know what they want, are lazy and cannot be depended on. We try to seek and associate ourselves with people who exhibit the above qualities.
Strive to improve yourselves. Do not let yourself stagnate and educate yourselves for life is rich with beautiful human experiences that you can share. Read and expand your vocabulary and improve your grammar as articulateness enhances one’s personality.
Be experts in your field of endeavors. Develop your skills and talents so you may stand out among the crowd and be able to guide those people who need guidance and advice.
However, in spite all of the above, you wouldn’t be effective, unless you are doing them with the most sincere of Christian intentions that is with God’s laws and teachings: to love thy neighbor, follow God’s Ten Commandments and the golden rule ” Do not do unto others what you don’t want others do unto you”.
So, to our single Christian men and women, whether you need it to attract someone in your lives and find that perfect Christian match, be noticed by your superiors in your workplace to get a promotion and therefore a raise or start a non-profit or profit organization to inspire people to act under your leadership to meet your objectives, you have to develop these varied facets of your personality and make them an intrinsic part of your whole being and Christian living.